O, My Heart REJOICE! Deep Thoughts and the Timing of God.

 It has been a while. A lot has happened. I have tried taking big leaps of faith because I feel that faith is something that I can always grow in.

I feel as if so many emotions have come and gone -- trying to help me learn and grow through this time of all new experiences. 

My thoughts are inspired by my morning's reading in the scriptures; 2 Nephi 4:19-34

" [...] nevertheless, I KNOW in whom I have trusted. 

My God has been my support; he hath led me t h r o u g h  mine afflictions in the wilderness [...] he hath filled me with his love [...] he hath heard my cry by day, and he hath given me KNOWLEDGE by visions in the night-time [...] by day I have waxed BOLD in mighty prayer before him [...] and angels came down and ministered unto me [...] if I have SEEN so great things, if the Lord [...] hath visited me in so much mercy, WHY should my heart weep and my soul linger in the valley of sorrow, and my flesh waste away, and my strength slacken, because of mine afflictions?

[...] why [...] WHY [...] [does] the evil one have place in my heart to DESTROY my  p e a c e  and afflict my soul? [...] AWAKE, my soul! [...] REJOICE! [...] give place no more for the enemy of my soul. [...] DO NOT slacken my strength because of mine afflictions [...] REJOICE, o my heart, and cry unto the Lord [...] I WILL praise thee  f o r e v e r ! [...] My soul will  r e j o i c e  in thee, MY God [...] the rock of my salvation [...] I will TRUST in  t h e e  forever [...] "

THIS has made sense to my heart and soul in a way that has not yet been felt before. 

I have experienced nudges to do and act in ways that do not make sense to anyone -- at times it does not make sense to myself. I have longed to move nearer to my dear John who is in Virginia. 

We have had moments of excitement in finding places to live! 

Followed by moments of immense disappointment in finding out that nothing would align the way we hope and pray for. 

Moving before our baby is born just is not working out.

Having the ability to give birth close to my John is something that has been important to me, alas sometimes with our deepest anxieties of heart and desires...God knows best. I always think that I can have all the faith, act with ALL my might to help allow the mountains in my life to move, in order meet my needs/wants/desires. 

however, God, my Father in Heaven knows best.

 His ways are higher than my ways. 

His timing IS perfect; not only for me, but for the people around who are being influenced by the decisions in our lives. 

About 7 years ago I had a life changing experience that helped teach me about how the Lord blesses me individually, and also how he works in his timing and wisdom.

I had planned on going on a full time mission for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints for YEARS!!! This was a dream, a goal that I had tried to prepare for, and simply did everything in my power to get me ready to do. This certain opportunity to serve the Lord, however did not end up happening. 

I like to joke around and say that God had to break my leg in order for me to change my plans, and accept His path instead! 

(The link below is the original post from right after the car accident; for me it is powerful to read and remind myself of thoughts, lessons, and growth from this journey through mortality!) 

http://creating-my-story.blogspot.com/2015/12/a-strange-christmas-to-remember.html

As time has progressed and I have not lived with my dearest John for 3 months... I have sorrowed a lot! I have cried. 

Felt hopeless. 

Been upset. 

Missed the father of my children.

The love of my life.

I know that through the temple covenants and ordinances in which we have made in the Holy temple that we have the opportunity to be together through this life, and throughout all eternity!!! 

You would think that already knowing Christ has won the fight would allow me to skip feeling hopeless, upset, and sorrowful.

Yet, in the Bible where Lazerus dies and his sister comes to Jesus weeping for her brother, Christ does not try to keep her from feeling loss, pain, sorrow, and deep sadness. He is there with her through it all. He weeps WITH her. He weeps; knowing that moments later a miracle would occur and joy would soon overtake all that had been lost!

I KNOW in whom I have trusted, I know who I have chosen. 

I KNOW that all will be well. 

I feel that even though I am single parenting our 2 year old and 1 year old -- getting ready to welcome a third into our family... I cannot be upset. 

This is the path I have chosen. 

My God will lead me THROUGH my afflictions.

REJOICE my heart and give no more room for the enemy of my soul to afflict and take away my peace!

I have chosen to Praise God if I am in Virginia ...

I have also chosen to Praise God if I am in Utah!

There is MUCH to be grateful for.

There have been miracles abounding in my life; angels HAVE indeed ministered to me in these months!

I KNOW the Lord loveth his children. ALL of them!

Prayers Are Being Answered; Life is Not Easy Sailing!

 As a mother of 2 crazy children, another on the way... and my John gone away for a time for boot camp in the Navy, my hands are full! (At least it feels like they are full sometimes)

But If you think my hands are full...well then you should see my heart!

https://youtu.be/OS2kMZu5Sds

Just had to share these thoughts that were inspired by listening and watching this Hope Works video. SO uplifting. Certainly what I needed today.

Hard times come in ALL sorts of shapes and sizes, but when we think that God does not deliver what we ask for, check again!

He may not always come in MY timing, in YOUR timing... but He ALWAYS comes on TIME!

The Lord's tender mercies are ABUNDANT -- all around.

You know, for years I have prayed for the Lord to lead me where He wants me to go. I have prayed for my husband to accomplish his goal of following revelation from God; serving in the Military. I have prayed for my faith to grow, and for my life to continuously be in the service of the Lord. 

My prayers ARE being answered!

My husband acts upon his personal revelation. I receive experiences -- uncomfortable moments where my faith DOES grow! I am also blessed to be a mother of almost 3 children, and I get to nurture my children ALL day. Every day!

When prayers are answered, life is not easy sailing. Nope, The road to active discipleship is ALWAYS uphill!  

At times I feel that my life that I am living is so hard. There are two ways of looking at life: victor vs. victim. Choosing to see life as a victor allows me to see the goodness that God is working in MY life. Seeing life through the victims eyes leads me to feel alone, disappointed for my circumstances, and I feel hopeless; feeling like I have no power over my future. But I have an opportunity to react in life. I would rather CHOOSE to act in Love and not worry. I would rather choose to Hope and not fear. I WILL choose to see the life that I am writing as a VICTOR not a victim of circumstance!

You know what?! It is NOT over. 

If you ever think that all your blessings have come through your trials, there is more to come. When God delivers, and when He delivers in His time He comes with blessings pouring down that ye may not have room enough to receive them!

One Person CAN Make A Difference -- Happy Father's Day!

 I am quite unsure of how to exactly begin...it has been awhile.

There has been many changes in our life.

Although, I did want to mainly focus on Father's Day!

I have been blessed in choosing to marry and to be eternally sealed to an AMAZING husband!!!! We have been married almost 4 years and he is the most happy, silly, Christlike, and quick-to-smile father of our sweet, helpful, and crazy children. Every moment since meeting him in the Temple has been full of love, respect, striving to understand one another, and much laughter (some tears too). 

My heart is so full towards this wonderful husband of mine and devoted son of God. This past Father's Day was the day that the children and I had to drop him off. He swore into active military duty and flew to embark on his journey in Bootcamp for the Navy. He had been working so hard to join the Air Force, but due to (I would call it) divine intervention(s) he was accepted into the Navy and has been preparing since May.

Through this last month I did not want to even attempt to think about how I would feel once he had left for training. I knew that I loved him, and I have supported this goal of both of ours all along the way. However, I left that book on the shelf. 

I tend to think that I am a very strong person when it comes to saying goodbye.  I thought our Lillie would struggle the most. She hates seeing him leave each morning for work! My heart melted as our Glenn was playing with his daddy's sunglasses, and as Lillie started crying because she wanted to go with him. 

That moment in time was a tender moment. 

Although, not an exactly devastatingly sad moment ... only because I catch glimpses of where God wants me/us to be heading. I feel the peace of a loving Heavenly Father willing to teach me lessons if I am open to receiving them! These precious glimpses help me feel that God IS at the helm and I truly can become an instrument in His wonderous hands. I feel His love through these small glimpses just as I would on the temple grounds, or even inside of a sacred building. 

There have been many tender mercies in the one day my dearest sweetheart has been away. Facetiming is such a beautiful thing!  Every chance while on his way to Chicago he called and we got to SEE his face, he also got to see us! 

Something that took me by surprise was the empty feeling my days would become. I still love taking care of our children and showing them the wonders of life, but with a righteous Husband and father gone for a moment in time our family feels lonesome and empty in a way. 

One person can truly make a HUGE difference! 

These emotionally challenging months for our family will be hard, yes... but I truly believe that through Hard things grow the most GLORIOUS experiences and teachings for God! 

okay... one more story...

Not long after John found out that he had been declined again from the air force the world wide General Conference, hosted by The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints was beginning. 

Focusing on spiritual growth and connection ALWAYS brings the blessings and revelation from Heaven! 

This conference brought a feeling to John that it was TIME to enlist into the military, and for me I felt that it was going to be ok to think about expanding our little family. (The third child, for me scared me) Two weeks after we found out that we were not only going to have another little Baby, but that this baby had begun his earthly journey long before we even thought about having the third!!! Two weeks after finding that the pregnancy was not a few weeks along, but a few months... John was accepted into Military service for the Navy. 

This year has been JAM packed full of uncertain and slightly uncomfortable changes!!!

Being uncomfortable is NOT a bad thing!

I am excited for the adventures ahead.

However, I do look forward to the day when our family can again reunite.

I know that this earthly life is for our benefit, and experiences give us opportunity to learn, grow, and become!

God can indeed see the WHOLE picture, we just have to learn to trust in Him.

One of my favorite themes is Embark in the Service of God. This song and video touches my heart so deeply. This theme for me set my soul on fire, and still does! (It is a catchy song) 

https://youtu.be/KNp7QSnrcqQ