O, My Heart REJOICE! Deep Thoughts and the Timing of God.

 It has been a while. A lot has happened. I have tried taking big leaps of faith because I feel that faith is something that I can always grow in.

I feel as if so many emotions have come and gone -- trying to help me learn and grow through this time of all new experiences. 

My thoughts are inspired by my morning's reading in the scriptures; 2 Nephi 4:19-34

" [...] nevertheless, I KNOW in whom I have trusted. 

My God has been my support; he hath led me t h r o u g h  mine afflictions in the wilderness [...] he hath filled me with his love [...] he hath heard my cry by day, and he hath given me KNOWLEDGE by visions in the night-time [...] by day I have waxed BOLD in mighty prayer before him [...] and angels came down and ministered unto me [...] if I have SEEN so great things, if the Lord [...] hath visited me in so much mercy, WHY should my heart weep and my soul linger in the valley of sorrow, and my flesh waste away, and my strength slacken, because of mine afflictions?

[...] why [...] WHY [...] [does] the evil one have place in my heart to DESTROY my  p e a c e  and afflict my soul? [...] AWAKE, my soul! [...] REJOICE! [...] give place no more for the enemy of my soul. [...] DO NOT slacken my strength because of mine afflictions [...] REJOICE, o my heart, and cry unto the Lord [...] I WILL praise thee  f o r e v e r ! [...] My soul will  r e j o i c e  in thee, MY God [...] the rock of my salvation [...] I will TRUST in  t h e e  forever [...] "

THIS has made sense to my heart and soul in a way that has not yet been felt before. 

I have experienced nudges to do and act in ways that do not make sense to anyone -- at times it does not make sense to myself. I have longed to move nearer to my dear John who is in Virginia. 

We have had moments of excitement in finding places to live! 

Followed by moments of immense disappointment in finding out that nothing would align the way we hope and pray for. 

Moving before our baby is born just is not working out.

Having the ability to give birth close to my John is something that has been important to me, alas sometimes with our deepest anxieties of heart and desires...God knows best. I always think that I can have all the faith, act with ALL my might to help allow the mountains in my life to move, in order meet my needs/wants/desires. 

however, God, my Father in Heaven knows best.

 His ways are higher than my ways. 

His timing IS perfect; not only for me, but for the people around who are being influenced by the decisions in our lives. 

About 7 years ago I had a life changing experience that helped teach me about how the Lord blesses me individually, and also how he works in his timing and wisdom.

I had planned on going on a full time mission for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints for YEARS!!! This was a dream, a goal that I had tried to prepare for, and simply did everything in my power to get me ready to do. This certain opportunity to serve the Lord, however did not end up happening. 

I like to joke around and say that God had to break my leg in order for me to change my plans, and accept His path instead! 

(The link below is the original post from right after the car accident; for me it is powerful to read and remind myself of thoughts, lessons, and growth from this journey through mortality!) 

http://creating-my-story.blogspot.com/2015/12/a-strange-christmas-to-remember.html

As time has progressed and I have not lived with my dearest John for 3 months... I have sorrowed a lot! I have cried. 

Felt hopeless. 

Been upset. 

Missed the father of my children.

The love of my life.

I know that through the temple covenants and ordinances in which we have made in the Holy temple that we have the opportunity to be together through this life, and throughout all eternity!!! 

You would think that already knowing Christ has won the fight would allow me to skip feeling hopeless, upset, and sorrowful.

Yet, in the Bible where Lazerus dies and his sister comes to Jesus weeping for her brother, Christ does not try to keep her from feeling loss, pain, sorrow, and deep sadness. He is there with her through it all. He weeps WITH her. He weeps; knowing that moments later a miracle would occur and joy would soon overtake all that had been lost!

I KNOW in whom I have trusted, I know who I have chosen. 

I KNOW that all will be well. 

I feel that even though I am single parenting our 2 year old and 1 year old -- getting ready to welcome a third into our family... I cannot be upset. 

This is the path I have chosen. 

My God will lead me THROUGH my afflictions.

REJOICE my heart and give no more room for the enemy of my soul to afflict and take away my peace!

I have chosen to Praise God if I am in Virginia ...

I have also chosen to Praise God if I am in Utah!

There is MUCH to be grateful for.

There have been miracles abounding in my life; angels HAVE indeed ministered to me in these months!

I KNOW the Lord loveth his children. ALL of them!

The Lord Leads Us

 

There is a certain hope and beauty that comes through studying the Gospel of Jesus Christ. There is a peace that comes through the power of the priesthood, and truths taught by the mouths of the Lord's prophets and apostles here on the earth today. One truth that has had my attention of late is that the Lord, Savior of the world, and Creator knows ALL things, past, present, and future. That is such a deep concept, and I can not ever fully wrap my head around it. The second truth that REALLY allows me to understand a bit better is that even though Jesus Christ, the Savior of the world knows all things He teaches us STEP BY STEP and GUIDES us, NEVER forcing!!!

I love this!!!!!

Visualizing this principle is always very helpful. The pictures of the flowers were something Lillie and I found on our morning walk. In the photo there is one main flower that is COMPLETELY in focus; clear to see ALL the details. The rest of the photo is still visible, and gradually fades in  complete clarity and detail. However, you can still make out the complete picture and feeling of the scene. This photo is much like life, and knowing that God goes before us.

 God blesses us, his children, with the ability to have clarity in vision as we follow Him, step by step, line upon line. I get impatient, and as impatience sets in my faith and trust in God slowly decrease. But knowing that God is ever loving in allowing me to be taught and guided by His never forcing arm is so comforting. 

This past General Conference talk by President Henry B. Eyring, "He Goes Before Us" is inspiring, calming, and brings peace; even hope to my soul! Here is a bit of the talk that stood out to me:  

"...whenever we proceed to resolve one inspired problem, we open the door for further revelation for advancements at least equally important but not yet seen." ... The Lord sees it all coming. He planned for it, step by step, as He has always done. He has always been lovingly patient in helping us learn "line upon line, precept upon precept. here a little and there a little." He is firm in the timing and the sequence of His intentions, yet He ensures that sacrifice brings continuing blessings that we did not foresee. Every prayer during preparation, and faith brings a blessing. The Lord goes before us. He knows the future perfectly. He has prepared the way for you. He has in place a plan for your service.

This truly brought such peace to my heart and very soul especially as we are getting ready for our little baby boy, Glenn to be born. Less than 2 weeks away... Giving birth is an impatient process. 

As I learn how to let the Lord lead and guide in His own way and timing the anxiety is replaced with peace, the need to know when Glenn will come is replaced with the specific details that God wants ME to learn and focus on. 

Following the Savior of the world is NOT easy. 

It takes work and effort, but the Lord loves effort and He truly does bless us. 

He also consecrates our every effort to Come Unto Him and to Hear Him!

...Lillie gets more excited for Glenn every passing day...

Do Not Put the Rose Under the Microscope!

Just a few thoughts and insights on letting go, giving our unreasonable desires to God, and enjoying the growth and journey our Heavenly Father has given to each of His children!

The Rose is a beautiful flower from any  r e a s o n a b l e  perspective!

Do not put the Rose under the microscope!

Rose under a microscope (Google images)

Looking back through my flower photography and found a few images of roses!

When you put a Rose under a microscope it ALWAYS becomes very ugly. 

The Rose under that kind of magnification does not have the shadows, the change in color to the petals, you can not even see that there is any petals... it just looks like a color, or a pattern!

Sure, there may be some beauty to a botanist or scientist viewing a flower under microcope, but to an every day person viewing a Rose under that kind of magnification does not do any justice to the Rose. 

This is a wonderful lesson for me! 

One that I do not think I have ever even thought of before, until yesterday at a church meeting with Elder Kearon of the Presidency of The Seventy of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. 

Many times we tend to put our own selves, our friends, and those around us under a microscope. We end up scruntinizing, belittling, and picking apart ourselves and others, by putting something beautiful under a microscope. 

Don't put the Rose under the microscope!

None of us can even stand being put under a microscope, but we still do it.

God did not intend for us to live life unhappy, sad, unsatisfied, and He did not intend for us to put His children under such magnifying. 

Many times we think to ourselves that we just are not good enough... and you know, we came from Heaven before this life. 

We came to this Earth to learn, to grow, and gain a physical body to house our spirits. 

We came to be able to choose God and return to live with Him again!

We came to learn and become because we are not good enough...that is why we are here!!!

Think of it this way ...

A child does not go to learn the piano from his teacher because he is already good enough; a child goes to piano lessons because he is not good enough -- the child goes to learn something new! 

Not so that he can be belittled and put under a microscope.

We must let go of wanting to be perfect because it is not yet a reasonable goal. 

We must stop putting the Rose under the microscope! 

Enjoy the journey, and embrace the learning and growing opportunities that we do have, given to us by our merciful, and loving Heavenly Father!!!

We have to make mistakes and we must be willing to accept the uncomfortable situation of learning, becoming, and growing into the person that our Father in Heaven KNOWS we can and have the potential to become. 

The other picture of roses that I had in my photography portfolio

what if the Battle is THE miracle

Oh my! 

It has almost been a year since writing on here . . . life has continued on and there has been so much that has happened during the school season, as well as through the summer.
One goal that I do want to accomplish on this blog is focusing on the tender mercies, little blessings, and the hand of the Lord in my life throug the weeks.
( rambling may take place . . . a little bit)
Life is such a journey, and I would not change any of the stuggles, battles, and even blessings for anything in the world; God knows what He is doing. He knows the individual experiences and lessons that each of us, His children NEED!
I guess I should explain a little about what has been going on for the past nine-ish months. In March we found out that John and I were going to have a baby! Super crazy, because I was NOT expecting that we would find this out for a while yet!
Here are a few pictures of our little Jelly-Bean's journey and growth!

  Along with going through the 1st trimester, on top of that I still had to finish finals. Not my most favorite thing ever...so, you see that is why this blog has not heard of the news until now, just a month before her due date!
However, I do want to share a little bit of a story with you about battles, trials, struggles, hard things . . . whatever you want to call them!
There was once a man who was fighting a battle. Along with fighting it diligently and nobly he asked the Father if he would take this from him, if he would be so kind and give him the strength to end this battle. No matter how hard he tried he could not defeat the fight that he was fighting. He was weary, beaten, discouraged, and at last he turned to God and pleaded, asking "Why can I not get rid of this battle? It has been long, hard, it is ugly, and I do not want it! Why can I not have just one little miracle!?" God spoke to this man's heart and said,"Would you have me take away the very thing that has kept you humble, teachable, and even the very thing that may save you?" The young man thought about the answer he had been given. He turned to God again, but instead of asking to be rid of the struggle and to instead be given the miracle of releasing him from his battle, the young man pleaded with God to allow him to see his battle as God saw it; the miracle.
This story was just so beautiful that I had to share it, because not one of us here on this earth are exempt from trials, struggles, battles, or hard things!
Many times, my friends the miracle IS the battle that you are fighting; that is what's keeping you humble & it may even save you!
What would change if you chose to see your hard things as a miracle?
Keep moving forward,
Keep SMILING,
Share YOUR light,
&
Be You Bravely!