A Feeling: Not Being in Stagnant Water -- Fully Engage in Your Story

 Where to begin... I really do not feel that I have much to say. I feel as if my thoughts, and feelings are just all over the place...

 I also feel the need to just create something ... To say something! 

To get out of a rut ... out of my little muddy puddle.

I just want to write down some thoughts that have sparked an excitement within my soul! It's been a minute since I have acted upon an exciting idea.

It has been so long since writing here on the blog. 

It's been long since creating art and sketching too. 

It has been a long time since dancing. (That makes me sad).

Yet, I suppose that there are seasons of life that come and go...

It feels as if I have been spending all of my energy, days, and time trying to care for, feed, nurture, and love our dear children while John has been deployed and out at sea. It has been just about 6 months since his leaving, and it has felt sooo long, yet also has felt like just a blink of an eye. A blink where our three children have grown 3 sizes in shoes, 2 sizes up in clothes, can sign the whole alphabet in A S L, and Gil has teethed ALL his teeth.  

Gilbert with almost all his teeth

Adventures of flying with three children 4 and under

Big enough to try to longboard 

I have had some thoughts about creating.

 Perhaps these thoughts have come about because I have been ignoring the subtle nudges to take time to create. (Other than cookies, and meatloaf, etc.)

Creating is such an essential characteristic to us as human beings, as well as us as divine spirit children of God. I have noticed that after creating something...anything, there is a certain kind of PEACE that overcomes me. It can happen after writing an inspirational quote down, after sketching, washing the walls down, or taking time to paint. This moment of accomplishing something hard and worthwhile is nice, it is a feeling of not being in stagnant water anymore. It is a moment where the hero in the story decides to DO something. By finding that moment of courage and action...the fog next to the stagnant water lifts and peace comes through SEEING the light just beyond the trees. Perhaps we then know that there is hope and a place for us to move to just beyond our "safe" little stagnant pond. 

Because, honestly, I do not want to continue my whole life in stagnant water! Moving, growing, changing, and becoming is how our Heavenly Father wants us to progress in this life!

These thoughts came as I was listening to a speech called, "Spiritual Creation" by Andra J. Duke. 

(I definitely recommend it!)

If anyone reads this besides me...thanks for letting me just have a moment to create. It has been a good use of time, because as I write my mind processes the ideas and I get to learn more than when I first sat down! 

Epilepsy, TDY, and developing a relationship with my Father in Heaven.

 I would like to just say ... I feel like I can breath again.

Life has been rough.

When you are traveling through a dark tunnel, once you have come into the light you suddenly realize that it has been extremely dark. 

That is sorta how right now is feeling.

Sometimes all you can do is live one day to the next. Hopefully doing good works, striving to help the people around you, remembering to make dinner, comforting crying children, trying to reach out to the neighbors moving in down the street, making sure the three year old is still in sight, remembering potty time for the toddler, saying thank you, being authentic, being kind, drinking water, changing diapers, reading scriptures, etc. 

I feel as though all of uncertainty, confusion, questions, and misunderstandings are just being thrown my way--which is NOT bad! One can only get stronger by lifting, or better at something by practicing. Lifting a weight is not easy, and practicing something is stressful ... even confusing for our brain at times, but if we are to learn, we HAVE to have time swimming... there HAS to be a moment of proving. 

A duck does not learn how to swim by sitting on a log all day.

John has been gone on TDY (temporary duty) for what seems like a looong time. In actuality, it has only been 3 weeks at a time, twice. Coming home in between for 7 days. Living on a military base has been a HUGE blessing because of the community within.

About 5 years ago I developed a seizure disorder, and handling these episodes sometimes lately are quite discouraging. Sometimes I feel inadequate, I am very forgetful, and I feel bad every time a seizure happens. 

However, I can still see the hand of the Lord!

Heaven has NOT been far away for me. There has been moments of peace, comfort, moments where a heavenly hug has been felt. These have been sacred indeed.

God IS good. I have only had seizures lately while sleeping, I have 3 beautiful children to fill my time, make me laugh, and care for while John is away, and I have a loving Heavenly Father ALWAYS just a prayer away. 

I have been striving to remember to pray more intentionally. 

Saying a prayer to God is pretty simple.

 However, Satan does NOT want us, as children of God, to communicate with our Eternal Father. He wants us to forget. He wants us to push it off, and fill these potentially sacred moments with worry, confusion, and anything else. If something can distract me from prayer, I usually get more distracted and more forgetful, as well as frustrated as the day goes on. 

The world has SO many LOUD voices right now... also SUCH deep and TURBULENT waters pushing and pulling every which way... I have come to realize however that God IS constant. Constantly kind, constantly aware of situations for His children, and constantly blessing His children. God is unchanging in His ways. God is peaceful, He is patient, and He is willing to teach! God gave His Only Begotten Son, to show the way so that we might Come and Follow our Savior...all the way back to our Heavenly and Eternal Home!

 

Standing in the presence of SUPERB people!

Have you ever been amongst superb people?!

these are a very few of my people!

-------

My deepest sense of rejoicing and gratitude today comes from my morning study. As I read, taking time to breath, see the light grow in the sky, and hear the birds I thought of those who have served me. Not through what we all think is service ... but those who had EVER been a light, taught wisdom through actions, or have been a reminder to me that Jesus Christ is THE light and life of the world. Those who have taught me that HE is the reason why we can REJOICE, why we can try again and again... 

Have you ever been amongst superb people?!

Are there people who you feel uplifted by, and people you love being around?

Have you had people who have ever taught you? 

Superb people are NOT perfect people, but are real people allowing lessons to be learned, hard moments to be had, and letting the sun to always come up again.

First I thought of my parents. My eternal companion. My siblings. My family. Dear friends & People I meet but  have a familiar feeling to them...as if I have known them forever.

My mom sacrificing all she knows in teaching skills, love for life, adventure, and a love for creating. 

My dad sacrificing all his energy and time to providing material things, but also experiences. Teaching values and morals through every day life lessons.

-- Mosiah 2:19-21 --

 "...I whom ye call your king, who has spent his days in your service, and yet has been in the service of God, do merit any thanks from you, O how you ought to thank your heavenly King! ... render ALL the thanks and praise which your whole soul has POWER to possess, to that God who has created you, and has KEPT and PRESERVED you, and has caused that ye should rejoice ... serve him who has created YOU from the beginning, and is PRESERVING you from day to day, by LENDING you breath, that ye may LIVE and MOVE and DO according to your own will ... even SUPPORTING you from one moment to another."

I then started thinking of ALL the people I have ever met who have changed me throughout my life. 

School friends, best friends, deep conversations, standing in holy places ... finding SO many kindred spirits.

I realize that God has ALLOWED me to be here. To be HERE at this time. He has given me this time NOW to be alive! He LENDS me breath every day, each moment ... and He now has filled my life with STELLAR people to gain wisdom from for a little while yet.

These people DO fill my life, because they need constant care, love, washing, lotioning, feeding, kind words, adventures, etc.   

However, these people serve me. They fill my life with light and are examples to me; they teach me of learning, loving, and forgiving. 

These SUPERB humans are my three tiny children, having THE biggest hearts, and the MOST helpful souls! Slobbery kisses and suuuuper tight hugs!

My Husband. He sees me grow, sees the mistakes I make, and watches me turn 25 as he remembers what it was like for him at that age... he understands. He too is living this path we call mortality. 

I have loved so many dear friends, mentors I have learned from and looked up to, people I gain knowledge from, and others I can aspire to to be. I also have a loving Savior who I will always remember and work on emulating continually...  

I owe ALL my gratitude to my Heavenly Father. 

People we randomly meet have the ability to bless our lives, in MANY different ways serve us. People we live with day-in and day-out ALSO have that ability--the ability to serve, uplift, and strengthen. 

THAT, above is something I need to remember always!

In both situations, by happen-stance or through a family setting God is good. As we strive to DO GOOD & SERVE HIM with our WHOLE souls He will continue to place each person where they need to be.

"...When ye are in the service of your fellow beings ye are ONLY in the service of your GOD."

-Mosiah 2:17

O, My Heart REJOICE! Deep Thoughts and the Timing of God.

 It has been a while. A lot has happened. I have tried taking big leaps of faith because I feel that faith is something that I can always grow in.

I feel as if so many emotions have come and gone -- trying to help me learn and grow through this time of all new experiences. 

My thoughts are inspired by my morning's reading in the scriptures; 2 Nephi 4:19-34

" [...] nevertheless, I KNOW in whom I have trusted. 

My God has been my support; he hath led me t h r o u g h  mine afflictions in the wilderness [...] he hath filled me with his love [...] he hath heard my cry by day, and he hath given me KNOWLEDGE by visions in the night-time [...] by day I have waxed BOLD in mighty prayer before him [...] and angels came down and ministered unto me [...] if I have SEEN so great things, if the Lord [...] hath visited me in so much mercy, WHY should my heart weep and my soul linger in the valley of sorrow, and my flesh waste away, and my strength slacken, because of mine afflictions?

[...] why [...] WHY [...] [does] the evil one have place in my heart to DESTROY my  p e a c e  and afflict my soul? [...] AWAKE, my soul! [...] REJOICE! [...] give place no more for the enemy of my soul. [...] DO NOT slacken my strength because of mine afflictions [...] REJOICE, o my heart, and cry unto the Lord [...] I WILL praise thee  f o r e v e r ! [...] My soul will  r e j o i c e  in thee, MY God [...] the rock of my salvation [...] I will TRUST in  t h e e  forever [...] "

THIS has made sense to my heart and soul in a way that has not yet been felt before. 

I have experienced nudges to do and act in ways that do not make sense to anyone -- at times it does not make sense to myself. I have longed to move nearer to my dear John who is in Virginia. 

We have had moments of excitement in finding places to live! 

Followed by moments of immense disappointment in finding out that nothing would align the way we hope and pray for. 

Moving before our baby is born just is not working out.

Having the ability to give birth close to my John is something that has been important to me, alas sometimes with our deepest anxieties of heart and desires...God knows best. I always think that I can have all the faith, act with ALL my might to help allow the mountains in my life to move, in order meet my needs/wants/desires. 

however, God, my Father in Heaven knows best.

 His ways are higher than my ways. 

His timing IS perfect; not only for me, but for the people around who are being influenced by the decisions in our lives. 

About 7 years ago I had a life changing experience that helped teach me about how the Lord blesses me individually, and also how he works in his timing and wisdom.

I had planned on going on a full time mission for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints for YEARS!!! This was a dream, a goal that I had tried to prepare for, and simply did everything in my power to get me ready to do. This certain opportunity to serve the Lord, however did not end up happening. 

I like to joke around and say that God had to break my leg in order for me to change my plans, and accept His path instead! 

(The link below is the original post from right after the car accident; for me it is powerful to read and remind myself of thoughts, lessons, and growth from this journey through mortality!) 

http://creating-my-story.blogspot.com/2015/12/a-strange-christmas-to-remember.html

As time has progressed and I have not lived with my dearest John for 3 months... I have sorrowed a lot! I have cried. 

Felt hopeless. 

Been upset. 

Missed the father of my children.

The love of my life.

I know that through the temple covenants and ordinances in which we have made in the Holy temple that we have the opportunity to be together through this life, and throughout all eternity!!! 

You would think that already knowing Christ has won the fight would allow me to skip feeling hopeless, upset, and sorrowful.

Yet, in the Bible where Lazerus dies and his sister comes to Jesus weeping for her brother, Christ does not try to keep her from feeling loss, pain, sorrow, and deep sadness. He is there with her through it all. He weeps WITH her. He weeps; knowing that moments later a miracle would occur and joy would soon overtake all that had been lost!

I KNOW in whom I have trusted, I know who I have chosen. 

I KNOW that all will be well. 

I feel that even though I am single parenting our 2 year old and 1 year old -- getting ready to welcome a third into our family... I cannot be upset. 

This is the path I have chosen. 

My God will lead me THROUGH my afflictions.

REJOICE my heart and give no more room for the enemy of my soul to afflict and take away my peace!

I have chosen to Praise God if I am in Virginia ...

I have also chosen to Praise God if I am in Utah!

There is MUCH to be grateful for.

There have been miracles abounding in my life; angels HAVE indeed ministered to me in these months!

I KNOW the Lord loveth his children. ALL of them!

Prayers Are Being Answered; Life is Not Easy Sailing!

 As a mother of 2 crazy children, another on the way... and my John gone away for a time for boot camp in the Navy, my hands are full! (At least it feels like they are full sometimes)

But If you think my hands are full...well then you should see my heart!

https://youtu.be/OS2kMZu5Sds

Just had to share these thoughts that were inspired by listening and watching this Hope Works video. SO uplifting. Certainly what I needed today.

Hard times come in ALL sorts of shapes and sizes, but when we think that God does not deliver what we ask for, check again!

He may not always come in MY timing, in YOUR timing... but He ALWAYS comes on TIME!

The Lord's tender mercies are ABUNDANT -- all around.

You know, for years I have prayed for the Lord to lead me where He wants me to go. I have prayed for my husband to accomplish his goal of following revelation from God; serving in the Military. I have prayed for my faith to grow, and for my life to continuously be in the service of the Lord. 

My prayers ARE being answered!

My husband acts upon his personal revelation. I receive experiences -- uncomfortable moments where my faith DOES grow! I am also blessed to be a mother of almost 3 children, and I get to nurture my children ALL day. Every day!

When prayers are answered, life is not easy sailing. Nope, The road to active discipleship is ALWAYS uphill!  

At times I feel that my life that I am living is so hard. There are two ways of looking at life: victor vs. victim. Choosing to see life as a victor allows me to see the goodness that God is working in MY life. Seeing life through the victims eyes leads me to feel alone, disappointed for my circumstances, and I feel hopeless; feeling like I have no power over my future. But I have an opportunity to react in life. I would rather CHOOSE to act in Love and not worry. I would rather choose to Hope and not fear. I WILL choose to see the life that I am writing as a VICTOR not a victim of circumstance!

You know what?! It is NOT over. 

If you ever think that all your blessings have come through your trials, there is more to come. When God delivers, and when He delivers in His time He comes with blessings pouring down that ye may not have room enough to receive them!

One Person CAN Make A Difference -- Happy Father's Day!

 I am quite unsure of how to exactly begin...it has been awhile.

There has been many changes in our life.

Although, I did want to mainly focus on Father's Day!

I have been blessed in choosing to marry and to be eternally sealed to an AMAZING husband!!!! We have been married almost 4 years and he is the most happy, silly, Christlike, and quick-to-smile father of our sweet, helpful, and crazy children. Every moment since meeting him in the Temple has been full of love, respect, striving to understand one another, and much laughter (some tears too). 

My heart is so full towards this wonderful husband of mine and devoted son of God. This past Father's Day was the day that the children and I had to drop him off. He swore into active military duty and flew to embark on his journey in Bootcamp for the Navy. He had been working so hard to join the Air Force, but due to (I would call it) divine intervention(s) he was accepted into the Navy and has been preparing since May.

Through this last month I did not want to even attempt to think about how I would feel once he had left for training. I knew that I loved him, and I have supported this goal of both of ours all along the way. However, I left that book on the shelf. 

I tend to think that I am a very strong person when it comes to saying goodbye.  I thought our Lillie would struggle the most. She hates seeing him leave each morning for work! My heart melted as our Glenn was playing with his daddy's sunglasses, and as Lillie started crying because she wanted to go with him. 

That moment in time was a tender moment. 

Although, not an exactly devastatingly sad moment ... only because I catch glimpses of where God wants me/us to be heading. I feel the peace of a loving Heavenly Father willing to teach me lessons if I am open to receiving them! These precious glimpses help me feel that God IS at the helm and I truly can become an instrument in His wonderous hands. I feel His love through these small glimpses just as I would on the temple grounds, or even inside of a sacred building. 

There have been many tender mercies in the one day my dearest sweetheart has been away. Facetiming is such a beautiful thing!  Every chance while on his way to Chicago he called and we got to SEE his face, he also got to see us! 

Something that took me by surprise was the empty feeling my days would become. I still love taking care of our children and showing them the wonders of life, but with a righteous Husband and father gone for a moment in time our family feels lonesome and empty in a way. 

One person can truly make a HUGE difference! 

These emotionally challenging months for our family will be hard, yes... but I truly believe that through Hard things grow the most GLORIOUS experiences and teachings for God! 

okay... one more story...

Not long after John found out that he had been declined again from the air force the world wide General Conference, hosted by The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints was beginning. 

Focusing on spiritual growth and connection ALWAYS brings the blessings and revelation from Heaven! 

This conference brought a feeling to John that it was TIME to enlist into the military, and for me I felt that it was going to be ok to think about expanding our little family. (The third child, for me scared me) Two weeks after we found out that we were not only going to have another little Baby, but that this baby had begun his earthly journey long before we even thought about having the third!!! Two weeks after finding that the pregnancy was not a few weeks along, but a few months... John was accepted into Military service for the Navy. 

This year has been JAM packed full of uncertain and slightly uncomfortable changes!!!

Being uncomfortable is NOT a bad thing!

I am excited for the adventures ahead.

However, I do look forward to the day when our family can again reunite.

I know that this earthly life is for our benefit, and experiences give us opportunity to learn, grow, and become!

God can indeed see the WHOLE picture, we just have to learn to trust in Him.

One of my favorite themes is Embark in the Service of God. This song and video touches my heart so deeply. This theme for me set my soul on fire, and still does! (It is a catchy song) 

https://youtu.be/KNp7QSnrcqQ

Through Mists of Darkness RECEIVE the Light

 3 Nephi 8:20-24

“And it came to pass that there was THICK darkness upon ALL the face of the land, insomuch that the inhabitants thereof who had not fallen could FEEL the vapor of darkness;

21 And there could be NO light, because of the darkness, neither candles, neither torches; neither could there be fire kindled with their fine and exceedingly dry wood, so that there could not be ANY light AT ALL;

22 And there was not ANY LIGHT SEEN, neither fire, nor glimmer, neither the sun, nor the moon, nor the stars, for SO GREAT were the MISTS of darkness which were upon the face of the land.

23 And it came to pass that it did last for the space of three days that there was NO light SEEN; and there was GREAT mourning and howling and weeping among ALL the people CONTINUALLY ; yea, GREAT were the groanings of the people, BECAUSE of the DARKNESS and the GREAT destruction which had come upon them.

24 And in one place they were heard to cry, saying: O that we had repented BEFORE this great and terrible day...”

There IS destruction, darkness, and certainly is THICK mists of darkness all around clouding sight, judgement, and even progression!!!!

These are spiritual mists of darkness, clouding my SIGHT that set into my own life!

It’s like trying to drive a car on an extremely FOGGY day ... while still staying inside of the lines; staying SAFE!!!!

Satan does not want us to see light, he doesn’t want us to feel light, knowledge, or truth!!! Satan rejoices when we are lost and cannot SEE the light and warmth of our Saviors ALL encompassing, redeeming LOVE!!!!!

Cast thy burden upon the Lord, turn to him!!! The simple act of reaching towards Him, talking to Him, and coming UNTO Him is even LIFE CHANGING!!!!!

Jesus Christ IS the hope that the light will shortly RETURN after a time of darkness.

He said, “...as many have RECEIVED me, to them have I given to BECOME the sons[daughters] of God...” 3 nephi 9:17

The Light of Christ can SHINE Through ALL!

 

Thoughts of Valentine's Day and what it has BECOME for me personally!

Through...a bit of art...

Today is a beautiful holiday. 

When I was younger, before I met my wonderful husband I thought this was the worst holiday ever. 

A bit dramatic, but I know many people also feel this way. 

It was not until John taught me that today was another chance for me to find the love that God has for me! 

Christ has such a pure, simple, and wonderful love for each one of us. 

This love is charity. The love that can never get lost, because His arms are ALWAYS outstretched towards me; towards you! Although His love and arms are outstretched towards us does not always mean that we can allow that love to reach our hearts.

This simple, quick sketch portrays just that.

We MUST give Him our hearts, through a broken heart and a contrite spirit. It is only when we are broken, and CAN recognize that we are such that the LIGHT within can shine. This light of Christ then can change us in ways we could never before imagine! Through different moments in life we ALL at least once feel broken.

The sketch shows the light of the tree of life. 

Christ gives the light and life to the world!

The fruit also is representative of apples, which have a hart-like shape to them...portraying LOVE!!!

The face of the girl is turning TOWARDS the light... she is not already there, slightly in shadow. 

Important because though we try so hard...there is still room for us to turn to HIM. 

There is still more light and more knowledge that we can learn of from Jesus Christ.

Her hand is then outstretched towards the tree, the fruit, and the Light, 

giving a token--a key to her heart. 

We must act. 

We must give up something we cherish in order to receive MORE light and knowledge. 

We must GIVE our Heavenly Father and Savior, Jesus Christ the "key" to our hearts...

not just once...

probably many, many times throughout life.

Below are the words to the poem written in 1784 that inspired the sketch:

Jesus Christ The Apple Tree

"The tree of life my soul hath seen,

Laden with fruit, and always green:

The trees of nature fruitless be

Compared with Christ the apple tree.

His beauty doth all things excel:

By faith I know, but ne'er can tell

The glory which I now can see

In Jesus Christ the apple tree.

For happiness I long have sought,

And pleasure dearly I have bought:

I missed of all; but now I see

'Tis found in Christ the apple tree.

I'm weary with my former toil,

Here I will sit and rest awhile:

Under the shadow I will be

of Jesus Christ the apple tree.

This fruit doth make my soul to thrive,

It keeps my dying faith alive;

Which makes my soul in haste to be

With Jesus Christ the apple tree."

Only through the loving hands of Christ can our eyes be truly OPENED!

 This year of 2020, I have heard to be one of THE worst years. 

Certainly a year to be remembered.

Some have had a decrease in seeing friends, loved ones, and neighbors. Many have been influenced by the fear and anxiety of things beyond their control such as sickness, death, fires, loss in job, etc.

This year, however, there have been advancements in learning how to meet with others in different ways; through the internet, phone, and getting used to seeing people wearing masks.

Personally, this year has been a strange year, but one of THE most beautiful in the ways of this symbolic, yet NOT coincidental connection with the word myopic and the year 2020. 

I was INSPIRED today during a zoom Relief Society meeting as we were discussing the talk, Let God Prevail. The thought that was so inspiring for me was the symbolism of the word myopic and the connection to the year -- 2020.

For those who are like me and had never heard of this word before, Myopic simply means: Nearsighted. Is that not just beautiful? I have felt at times that I have been nearsighted this year. I have focused too much on the wrong things, or too self absorbed forgetting that to SEE another person is to see the face of God. When this occurs I find that I have focused too closely or have been obsessed with wants, needs, being too proud to widen my range of sight. During this year of pandemic, this year of loneliness, confusion, fear, and change have I been nearsighted? That truly is a profound, and simple question.

Being nearsighted is all too easy when we choose to have other hobbies, .  without allowing God to prevail in our individual lives. But I suppose the question is then, Am I willing to let God prevail in my life? This is an active decision, not passive.

We MUST all choose for ourselves whether we are going to be myopic or if we are going to let God prevail. This is a personal, but very important separation between holding fast to the iron rod, and simply keeping an eye on the railing so as not to let it out of sight. The very act of letting God prevail allows our own eyes to be OPENED, this is choosing to hold fast to the word of God through actions and decisions.  Choosing our Savior, Jesus Christ allows us to SEE more fully with an eternal perspective the love that God has for each one of us!

"The Lord IS gathering those who are WILLING to let God prevail in their lives. The Lord IS gathering those who will CHOOSE to let God be THE most important influence in their lives." -Russell M. Nelson

To see more fully can also be said as seeing in 20/20 vision. Is that not amazing?! Mind blown!!! This year has been a constant decision to either SEE myopically or to embrace God, trust in Him and to SEE 2020! Through fear and strife the peace of Jesus Christ is as a beacon of LIGHT, guiding us safely through the mists of darkness, confusion, fear, sickness, and death. We each must act to choose Him or to choose a distorted and nearsighted view. "Trust in His redeeming blood, and try His works to do." https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/music/library/hymns/there-is-a-green-hill-far-away?lang=eng

This year has been full of happenings that have been too far out of the control of us. Many humbling experiences bringing me back to a simple thought, and a profound question.

I cannot.

God can.

Will I let Him?

Christ truly did Heal the sick, cause the lame to walk, and gave the blind their SIGHT! He can with us give us the sight of an eternal perspective, seeing our life in 2020. 

May the end of your remarkable year of 2020 end in a beautiful way. 

May we choose to either let fear fill our lives, or to let God prevail in every aspect of our God given life! May the year of 2021 bring a closer connection to our Heavenly Father and to our Savior, Jesus Christ. May we continue to choose in the coming years to SEE, and to have our eyes be opened through the loving hands of our Savior, Jesus Christ. May we choose to LET GOD PREVAIL!

 

 

Find Rest Unto Your Souls -- lowly in heart

 To be offended is a very human experience. 

We live in a world where being offended is just another response to our everyday relationships. Many times I have ended up overthinking words and actions done and said by others, and in the end resulting in being at least a little bit offended. 

Since meeting my dearest sweetheart, John I have been drawn to his charm of having a happy disposition, and his eternal perspective. I wanted this type of outlook on life. He seemed so at peace with everything that came his way! He seemed to never take offense personally, and in the three years we have been married I have thought this attribute is very admirable! I have wanted to have that quality too. I did not want to always be worried about how I was taking things, or even how I was perceiving situations and relationships with others. But how did I begin to learn about this consistent peace? How was I suppose to see how to incorporate this attribute into my own way of becoming? 

Through God given AHA moments! Moments where the Spirit of God brings light, understanding, and knowledge to your mind; as you are seeking to know and understand! This perspective and way of living does not just happen. It is a CONSTANT decision. The peace that is seen in John is a blessing given from God. It is a Christlike attribute only gained through diligence, persistence, and with heavenly help.

Choose to let light and knowledge into your life!

Choose to SEE the light!

Many events do not go to plan. Many people do and say things that we cannot have an influence upon. However, one thing that we CAN do is we can determine how WE will act. We can choose to be offended, or we can choose not to be. This personal decision is a practice in God's gift of agency. This choice is also known as being meek and lowly in heart. The world would have us believe that the characteristic of being / becoming meek is weak, or even passive. 

"Meekness is strong, not weak; active, not passive; courageous, not timid; restrained, not excessive; modest, not self-aggrandizing; and gracious, not brash. A meek person is not easily provoked, pretentious, or overbearing and readily acknowledges the accomplishments of others."

David A. Bednar - 2018 General Conference talk:   https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/media/video/2018-03-2030-david-a-bednar?lang=eng 

The way the contemporary world would view meekness, and how the Lord views the Christlike attribute is so different. Satan would have us believe that to be meek is being lazy, or shows others that we are really weak in heart.

 The Lord declares in Doctrine and Covenants 19:23, "Learn of me, and listen to my words; walk in the meekness of my spirit, and you shall have peace in me." 

To be meek is to truly CHOOSE to think the best of others, choosing not to take offense, and to give people the benefit of the doubt! I realized the characteristic John has is to be meek! His way of living was so magnetizing to me because, as stated in the scripture to be meek brings PEACE through the spirit of God! We receive the promised blessing of peace and rest to our searching and yearning souls.  "Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls." Matthew 11:29 As we take the yoke of Christ upon us we are deciding to consistently learn of Him; we are choosing to come unto Him - to yoke ourselves up with the Savior of the world, the master healer, our Lord and Redeemer. 

As we strive to minister like Christ, emulating how He taught we will be able to find the peace and rest that our souls LONG to find. We each crave the joy, happiness, and peace that only can be found through our Savior, and Redeemer; Jesus Christ! We can choose a holier way, we can choose the road less traveled by, we can choose to unite with Christ. That will make ALL the difference.

We, like Amulek (From the Book of Mormon) can willingly submit to the Lords CALL as well as give of ourselves and seek His WILL. Accept the journey of becoming meek. To be lowly in heart is not ever going to be easy; we will have to choose to leave behind our comfortable circumstances, and our familiar relationships. But as we go forth with Faith in God He will bless us with an eternal perspective; strong, and disciplined self-restraint to act for ourselves rather than to react. We will assuredly be blessed to gain a settled and calm demeanor; meek is what we will become as choosing to be disciples of Christ. 

Choose to SEE the best in others. Choose to SEE the hand of the Lord in your life; everyday! Choose to hear His voice. Choose light! Choose happiness and Choose to Come Unto Him!

Thoughts about this weeks studies in the Book of Mormon, found in the Come Follow Me manual below:   

https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/manual/come-follow-me-for-individuals-and-families-book-of-mormon-2020/32?lang=eng     

Sharing Testimony Strengthens Faith

Testimony is important beyond comprehension; even my own!

It has been a little over a month since last, and I have witnessed many wonders of the Lord as well as seeing His loving hand in my life--day to day!

I have felt His guiding arm through seemingly difficult circumstances.

I have seen how He has strengthened me in order to be humble and endure experiences well.

I have a firm assurance that He blesses His children (us) and does indeed listen to us.

I have also felt the influence of His spirit, and the closeness of the veil.

Along with that, I know that ministering angels are never far away, and testify of light and truth!

In this past month I have contemplated my own testimony as well as studying and pondering upon the scriptures. My husband pointed out to me that scriptures are basically testimonies upon testimony. I got to thinking this through and realized that apostles and prophets of old, all the way to now have instructed to study and ponder the word of God. By studying the scriptures, thus being one of the forms of His word we attain greater spiritual knowledge, light, faith, and happiness.

Testimony is one way of building faith!!!

This to me was AMAZING!!!

A simple principle finally just made sense and clicked.

I started thinking about why as Children of God and as Followers of Jesus Christ we need to consistently and constantly bear our own special testimonies.

Not only does testifying of truth strengthen others faith in spiritual trials, but it also builds and strengthens our own faith in difficult circumstances which lie ahead.

Diligently growing our faith is so important, for if we are not anxiously engaged in a good cause, or going forward we are not at a stand-still, but we are actively going backwards. 

Hold tight to the truths that you DO know.

Satan would have us second guessing ourselves upon truths that we know to be true; he would have us forsake our precious testimonies and little by little follow him through spiritual mists and darkness.

Hold fast to the ground that you have already won from Satan.

 The Bible, both old and new testament - along with the Book of Mormon bear witness that God lives, He blesses the lives of His children, and He loves each and every one individually. Jesus the Christ is the son of God, the Holy Messiah; He atoned for each of us personally. He knows our struggles, pains, and difficulties throughout this life. He also knows our strengths, joys, and because He knows us in this way He knows how to perfectly succor His people. He runs to the aid of us, he is always knocking at the door, and God does personally speak to us in this latter day. We have the opportunity to CHOOSE to follow the Good Shepherd, we DECIDE to open the door and let Him in, and we have to ACTIVELY open our ears to HEAR HIM; and our eyes to SEE His mighty hand in our life!

This is a painting that I am almost finished with called "With an eye of Faith" It captures a simple child's prayer, as well as encompasses the hope that a little child has while practicing to SEE with the eyes of faith.

    And... some simple, yet beautiful little moments of light and love in the busy days of being a mother to Lillie and Glenn, being a wife to my magnificent husband, and simply trying to be a follower of my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.

The Lord Leads Us

 

There is a certain hope and beauty that comes through studying the Gospel of Jesus Christ. There is a peace that comes through the power of the priesthood, and truths taught by the mouths of the Lord's prophets and apostles here on the earth today. One truth that has had my attention of late is that the Lord, Savior of the world, and Creator knows ALL things, past, present, and future. That is such a deep concept, and I can not ever fully wrap my head around it. The second truth that REALLY allows me to understand a bit better is that even though Jesus Christ, the Savior of the world knows all things He teaches us STEP BY STEP and GUIDES us, NEVER forcing!!!

I love this!!!!!

Visualizing this principle is always very helpful. The pictures of the flowers were something Lillie and I found on our morning walk. In the photo there is one main flower that is COMPLETELY in focus; clear to see ALL the details. The rest of the photo is still visible, and gradually fades in  complete clarity and detail. However, you can still make out the complete picture and feeling of the scene. This photo is much like life, and knowing that God goes before us.

 God blesses us, his children, with the ability to have clarity in vision as we follow Him, step by step, line upon line. I get impatient, and as impatience sets in my faith and trust in God slowly decrease. But knowing that God is ever loving in allowing me to be taught and guided by His never forcing arm is so comforting. 

This past General Conference talk by President Henry B. Eyring, "He Goes Before Us" is inspiring, calming, and brings peace; even hope to my soul! Here is a bit of the talk that stood out to me:  

"...whenever we proceed to resolve one inspired problem, we open the door for further revelation for advancements at least equally important but not yet seen." ... The Lord sees it all coming. He planned for it, step by step, as He has always done. He has always been lovingly patient in helping us learn "line upon line, precept upon precept. here a little and there a little." He is firm in the timing and the sequence of His intentions, yet He ensures that sacrifice brings continuing blessings that we did not foresee. Every prayer during preparation, and faith brings a blessing. The Lord goes before us. He knows the future perfectly. He has prepared the way for you. He has in place a plan for your service.

This truly brought such peace to my heart and very soul especially as we are getting ready for our little baby boy, Glenn to be born. Less than 2 weeks away... Giving birth is an impatient process. 

As I learn how to let the Lord lead and guide in His own way and timing the anxiety is replaced with peace, the need to know when Glenn will come is replaced with the specific details that God wants ME to learn and focus on. 

Following the Savior of the world is NOT easy. 

It takes work and effort, but the Lord loves effort and He truly does bless us. 

He also consecrates our every effort to Come Unto Him and to Hear Him!

...Lillie gets more excited for Glenn every passing day...