Epilepsy, TDY, and developing a relationship with my Father in Heaven.

 I would like to just say ... I feel like I can breath again.

Life has been rough.

When you are traveling through a dark tunnel, once you have come into the light you suddenly realize that it has been extremely dark. 

That is sorta how right now is feeling.

Sometimes all you can do is live one day to the next. Hopefully doing good works, striving to help the people around you, remembering to make dinner, comforting crying children, trying to reach out to the neighbors moving in down the street, making sure the three year old is still in sight, remembering potty time for the toddler, saying thank you, being authentic, being kind, drinking water, changing diapers, reading scriptures, etc. 

I feel as though all of uncertainty, confusion, questions, and misunderstandings are just being thrown my way--which is NOT bad! One can only get stronger by lifting, or better at something by practicing. Lifting a weight is not easy, and practicing something is stressful ... even confusing for our brain at times, but if we are to learn, we HAVE to have time swimming... there HAS to be a moment of proving. 

A duck does not learn how to swim by sitting on a log all day.

John has been gone on TDY (temporary duty) for what seems like a looong time. In actuality, it has only been 3 weeks at a time, twice. Coming home in between for 7 days. Living on a military base has been a HUGE blessing because of the community within.

About 5 years ago I developed a seizure disorder, and handling these episodes sometimes lately are quite discouraging. Sometimes I feel inadequate, I am very forgetful, and I feel bad every time a seizure happens. 

However, I can still see the hand of the Lord!

Heaven has NOT been far away for me. There has been moments of peace, comfort, moments where a heavenly hug has been felt. These have been sacred indeed.

God IS good. I have only had seizures lately while sleeping, I have 3 beautiful children to fill my time, make me laugh, and care for while John is away, and I have a loving Heavenly Father ALWAYS just a prayer away. 

I have been striving to remember to pray more intentionally. 

Saying a prayer to God is pretty simple.

 However, Satan does NOT want us, as children of God, to communicate with our Eternal Father. He wants us to forget. He wants us to push it off, and fill these potentially sacred moments with worry, confusion, and anything else. If something can distract me from prayer, I usually get more distracted and more forgetful, as well as frustrated as the day goes on. 

The world has SO many LOUD voices right now... also SUCH deep and TURBULENT waters pushing and pulling every which way... I have come to realize however that God IS constant. Constantly kind, constantly aware of situations for His children, and constantly blessing His children. God is unchanging in His ways. God is peaceful, He is patient, and He is willing to teach! God gave His Only Begotten Son, to show the way so that we might Come and Follow our Savior...all the way back to our Heavenly and Eternal Home!